and then
there was the time
.
. a lifetime,
really.
.
if i am honest.
.
and
honesty
opens the door,
does it not?
.
the time
where
i gave pieces of myself
away.
.
. my
. flesh and bone
heart of stone.
.
allowed
my body
and
my soul
to be carried away
by
thieves
who faded into the dark,
.
because i was not enough
for
me.
.
because the voice
inside
my bones,
. one half of my dna,
found
me
wanting,
.
until i believed the lie.
.
and all i have ever wanted
was to be
enough.
.
such a hungry word.
.
. enough.
.
and i have scraped
portions
of my heart
onto the plates of others.
.
. by feeding them,
i have tried to fill my hunger.
.
a feeble attempt at peace.
.
but i am not
enough
to fill the bellies
of other starving seekers.
.
this, i know.
.
and i am
still trying
to trust
that
everything that i am
is all that you have ever wanted.
.
. enough.
. such a full word.
.
that i can call off the search
for love
and
hope
and
(self) respect
and
all the other things
that
i have searched for
in the thorns
and
the arms
and
the words
and
the eyes
of another.
.
there are roots to destroy
and
flowers to sow
and
new doors to walk through.
.
this,
is a fierce
undoing of myself.
.
an
unravelling
and
unlayering
of who i am,
until
i find the beginning
. of me.
—unravel.
.
.
© Liezel Graham 2019.
.
.
Photograph by Nita.
.
.
.
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