the poet fears the loss of words to rearrange on paper, and
.
there are many places in the heart that a drought can happen, but
.
last night i told my son a story before sleep claimed him from me,
.
. and he laughed,
. and laughed.
.
his mouth a happy moon in a dark night, and
.
this morning my words carried the sun on their shoulders as they left my mouth to call him back, and
.
he heard, and smiled in his sleep.
.
that is how far they can travel when they do not need my permission.
.
the poet fears the loss of words that will obey her on paper, but
.
see how many quiet ones slip out when she is not looking, but
.
they will not be shaped into poems where they do not want to live.
.
no.
.
some words are made to fall all over sleep-soft skin.
.
they are made entirely of love.
.
— my words are always making poems.
.
© Liezel Graham 2019.
.
Photograph by Magda Ehlers.
.
.
.
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the afternoon shadows are long and thin.
.
they climb through my window,
.
lie down on my bed,
unable to hold
themselves
up.
.
through the wall i hear my neighbour pray.
.
his afternoon Asr is a soft, rhythmic breath.
.
my ears do not know the words that are falling from his mouth.
.
but still, they fall quietly on my shoulders—made from strong things that i didn’t know i needed.
.
i wonder if he knows how far his prayer has travelled today, and how much work it has already done.
.
— i will take this holiness that walks through walls.
.
© Liezel Graham 2019.
.
Photograph by Leah Flaviah.
.
.
At midday, Sunday, my brother lost his phenomenally brave fight against pancreatic cancer.
I was not there to say goodbye and I am not able to travel home to South Africa from Scotland, either.
My heart is broken.
I will miss him forever.
.
My heart has been searching for snatches of peace and hope ever since then.
Having lost my beautiful Gran earlier this year as well, this has been a year of profound loss for me.
Still, I keep searching for beauty and sometimes it finds me—travels through walls and settles on my shoulders.
.
For this, I am grateful.
.
.
#spilledink #spilledthoughts #iweepinink #pancreaticcancer #death #words #wordsmith #poetry #poetryporn #grief #griefquotes #asr #prayer #liezelgraham #poetsofinstagram #immigrant #hope #deathofasibling
