almost half my faith ago,
when i was wide-eyed
and
fresh in my skin,
a man in a white coat said
i think this might be all
that you’ll get, and
then
there will be no more days left,
for you to chase
in wonder.
and the thought that dying
might be difficult,
climbed onto
my lap and
stayed
with
me.
but somehow i was given more, and
ever since then i have run after
every scrap of beauty
that has danced
past me, and
the feel of the ocean on my skin, and the way that yellow freesias smell like joy, and the taste of the first cup of coffee in the morning, and the curve of my son’s nose against my breast as he nestled to feed in the dark, and the smell of rain after a drought, and the
way that my heart can still make
room for more love, and
how much courage
it takes to trust,
again
and
again, and
every time that fear
told
me
to
sit down,
i said no,
and i stood up.
and this is how i came to know
that living,
is the more difficult thing
to do.
not everybody knows
that dying is easy.
we are all doing it,
right now,
without even trying.
but
do
you
know
how to look fear in the eye,
and
say,
how beautiful is this day,
and i think i shall
enjoy it
very
much
to be
alive,
if only for a little while
longer.
— how to fight death.
(for djs with all my love).
© Liezel Graham 2019.
Photograph by David Boca.
