I don’t like posting twice on the same day, but I really want to put this one up tonight.
You cannot be the source of someone’s happiness, peace and joy.
It is not your job.
And sometimes, we are told this from a very young age and all we know from thereon out, is that we need to keep the peace… we don’t learn that we can challenge opinions, and say ‘no’ to things that make us uncomfortable.
we become people pleasers with a skewed sense of love.
we think that we have to somehow earn the ‘i love you’s’ by being the source to people who don’t know where to find it themselves, or don’t want to find it themselves.
you are not a crutch.
you were a given a life.
go and live it!
With a grateful nod to Melissa T, for a line that I used in this poem.
Sometimes the black birds of fear, shame and guilt will fly up and down your life… they like to go far back into your past and remind you of all the reasons you have failed. They like to fly into your future and prophecy that things will never work out; that you are not deserving of the things your heart dreams of.
You might listen to what they whisper.
But you don’t have to.
Give them new names—new names from the old ones.
Handmade names that sound like light.
For all the things that you are hoping for, let faith fall brazenly from your mouth.
sharing a little freeform writing with you on this eve before christmas.
if this year was hard for you—mine has been—losing both my gran and my brother in the space of a couple of months, knocked the wind right out of me, and if you are missing the breath of people you love, if you have lost a part of yourself, or if you have no idea how tomorrow, or next year will look…
then i wish you a gentle, honest christmas.
it doesn’t have to be merry.
it doesn’t have to be bright.
may all your days be honest, and may you be honest about all your days.
know that you are loved,
my deepest thanks to my beautiful friend, Lisa, for giving me the gift of an honest christmas.
i am not afraid of your darkness or mine, and i have seen it all before, and my ears know the sound of fear all too well, and pain too, and i have walked this road in another life and even yesterday i stumbled over this same stone, and i can find my way out of here for both of us, and i see that you have run out of light? don’t worry—here, let me give you a bit of mine, and
i’ll just break a small piece off right here, and no—it doesn’t hurt at all, and it grows back so quickly and look! now you have some of me inside of you, and i think that means that we’re friends, and i see you, and you see me, and you are just what i have been searching for, come—let me show you the way out of here.