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it has been a season of fierce and sharp things, at times the fear and the loss would be right there in my face, but most days it wanders the boundaries of my days, waiting for me to make eye contact with it.

most days i refuse.

there are many things i am unable to do, many skills i do not have, but i have one skill that has lived behind my eyes ever since i was a whisper of breath, passed on by others who share my dna, and it is a weapon, a gift, a blessing, and at times the thing that causes me the most difficulty and heartache:

i pay attention.
i notice things.
i notice patterns.
i read between whatever lines i am given.
i notice the absence.
i notice the presence.
i listen so very carefully that my entire being is filled with ever-present noises and nudges.

i know that God gave me this.

still, sometimes i can’t see the woods for the trees because i am listening to every song bouncing off every stone, and also, i like to know things, you know?

i knock on those doors, i ask those questions, i search for those answers.

i know God gave me this, too.

anyway, this little piece is finished. it asked for more colour, more stitches, more riotous recklessness than i wanted to part with in this season.
i gave it what i could.

Fridays are grief days. my Mamma left this earth on a Friday morning.

but Fridays are also the start of my Sabbath, my Shabbat.

so, there is that too. that my mom left to fly home and God reminds me to rest.

listen, grief-hearted mammal-without-a-mother, choose now for yourself what you will give your eyes to.

be quiet now, mind,
be quiet now, heart.
be quiet now, soul.

all is well.

© Liezel Graham 2025