how to love like heaven

all day i stay hidden.

hiding from the pain that climbed into my head whilst i was sleeping, settled itself comfortably behind my eye, an old foe and how familiar we are to each other, by now.

it settles a mood on me—grey, a storm fills my mouth, and what falls from my tongue has sharp edges, howls.

i try to shape my words carefully with soft hands, call them love, but

i fail.

i am not always what i want to be.

in the late afternoon, he bursts into my bedroom, climbs onto my lap, spills his long limbs all over me, his boy hands on my cheeks, eyes finding mine,

says

is your head sore, mom?
i think you are grumpy and cross because it hurts.
it’s ok.
i still love you.

all the things we have taught each other, always his eyes are on mine, searching for the way home, true north, grace.

his hands still full of all the things that smell like heaven.

— how to love like heaven.

© Liezel Graham 2020.

Image by Annie Spratt.
{Unsplash}.

Image by Annie Spratt.
Unsplash.

a blessing for mother’s day.

may you find love.
enough to fill any holes.

may you find healing.
enough to cover any wounds.

may you find hope.
enough to keep your dream alive.

may everything that was taken from you, return to you as joy.

may all your failures grow into
courage.

may you find yourself brave enough to try again, and again, and again.

may you find a soft place to rest,
where you can take off everything that is not yours to carry, and

may you always be found by the light, no matter where you are.

— a blessing for mother’s day.

© Liezel Graham 2020.

Image by Kirill Pershin.
{Unsplash}.

Today is Mother’s Day in the UK and Ireland.

For many women it is a happy day where they are celebrated and loved that wee bit extra.

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

…but, if your arms are empty, or if your womb and your heart has only known loss, if you are grieving a child, grieving a mother, grieving any woman who has loved you like a mother, if you are a mum who has fallen again, and again—who knows bitter disappointment, shame and failure as friends, then I send you love today.

For the fathers who have to be mothers, too—you are doing just fine.

For the grannies, that are mums again, for the stepmums who have had to step into new shoes—you are doing just fine.

May you be found by everything that you need.

You are so loved.

liezel

have you ever?

have you ever eaten
sweet potato

baked in its own skin, taken straight from the oven
still warm.

rough on your mouth
at first,

but then,

sweet

soft flesh,
opening orange
on your starved tongue

no fork
no knife
or plate,

not dressed up as anything
it is not.

hands taking what they want,

this gift.

— have you ever?

© Liezel Graham 2020.

Image by Ela Haney.
{Unsplash}.

there is beauty all around us.

this morning, i baked a tray of lovely sweet potatoes.

a poem found me in the soft, orange flesh.

reflections.

the poet is always a mirror.

— reflections.

© Liezel Graham 2020.

Image by Inga Gezalian.
{Source: Unsplash}

a thought for the poets and also
something a little introspective.

allow your creativity to be a reflection.

in your words:

be brave.
be fearless.
be kind.
be honest.
be unapologetic.
be a map.
be a compass.
be hope.

you have words.
use them wisely.

liezel

learning to let go | trust.

every new morning,
i set all of my tomorrows free.

— learning to let go | trust

© Liezel Graham 2020.

Background image by Filip Zrnzević.

for some of us, learning to let go of security and the need to control things beyond our control—deciding every fresh morning to let go of what we think our tomorrows should look like, learning to live in the moment, can be the bravest thing we ever do.

also the scariest.

you are not alone.

i see you.

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