scope

we sit on opposite sides of the waiting room

clutching our middle years

in our hands,

strangers

comparing stories of raising boys

they never seem to stop eating

do they,

from the minute they leave our bodies

so much life fills their skin.

we have given them everything that we have and more, and

perhaps because we are a hospital gown away

from being completely naked with each other,

we also speak

quietly

of the things that they might find

hiding

within our walls, and

how we hope

that they

don’t,

because we have sons to feed, and

we are hungry

to be

in their lives, and

we smile and we laugh

a little

in the shadow of the thing

that has a name

but doesn’t have ours,

yet

we hope

like all the women before us,

we walk barefoot here

in the valley, and

we all lose our shoes when we walk this road,

it doesn’t matter what your name is,

here

in this place,

we all fear the same, and

we follow the nurse to the room where they will tell us

our future

for a moment

you turn away

and i see it in your eyes.

later when i walk out of recovery

orange juice still sweet on my tongue,

i carry words in my hands

that breathe,

words that do not chase

me

yet

you are in the cubicle next to me

the borders that i have just left

behind

i never want to return to this place, and

i see you

curled up

into the shape of a foetus,

asleep

under the weight of the extra peace they pumped into your veins,

statistics say that it had to be one of us

the odds took more from you

than from me, and

i hope that you find the courage to chase away the

dogs of fear.

— scope.

© Liezel Graham 2019.

recently i had my ‘future’ told by a medical team.

i was the fortunate one who walked out with hope in my hands.

xx

Photograph by Leo Cardelli.

an exciting collaboration!

I can finally share some exciting news—the incredible indie band, Keeper of Bees has used one of my short poems in a new song in a collaboration with The Ocean Beneath.

I heard the rough track yesterday and it is beautiful!

I’ll share more when I can, but for now I am going about my day with a big smile on my face.

https://www.facebook.com/keeperbeesmusic/

Generational healing.

One of the greatest gifts that you can give to all the women who came before you — your mothers, your grandmothers, your aunts and nieces and sisters all the way back through the generations, is healing.

The same applies to men, of course, but today is International Women’s Day and this is where my heart is, today.

Do everything in your power to seek healing for yourself, both physical, spiritual and psychological.

Be honest with where you are, and who you are.

Be gentle with your pain and your scars.

Trauma cannot be undone in a day, or a week or a month or a year, but you can start.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to the memories of those who lived before you. We can only live what we know, we can only do something if we know how, and perhaps they just didn’t know — didn’t know how to leave that abusive relationship, or how to face that addiction, or how to simply love, or perhaps, how to just keep on living.

And perhaps, and this is hard, I know, but if they are still alive, they might never learn how, or want to seek any healing for themselves.

But, you can.

You can change your future and if you ask for the way to healing, to open up before you, it will.

Of this, I am certain.

And it won’t be easy. I am pretty sure of this too.

And healing will look different for each of us. And it might never fully be here for you. You might still jump at the slightest sound and always hate surprises. I do.

You might have to find new friends because your old friends cannot accept that alcohol is no longer your ‘friend’. That is ok. Really, it is. New friends will come.

It might be a coming out to who you really are, or a going back to who you once were, before…

Chains are notoriously hard to break, but you can do it.

And it will be worth it. It will be a re-birth, an undoing of you are not and a discovering of who you are.

Keep searching for it — your beautiful heart is worth every bit.

#internationalwomensday

#generationalhealing

Photograph by Pixabay.

Every woman.

I love this beautiful image of my poem, shared on Instagram by psychologist, Dr Heidi Green.

This poem and the theme of generational and personal healing, is the theme of my first volume of poetry that I hope to release in May!

I shall share the name of the book a wee bit closer to the time, but for now I am selecting just the right poems to include in the volume and I hope that it will be a book that will be a companion to anyone seeking to heal themselves of hurts and trauma, both past and present.